Monday, May 3, 2021

What’s the #3 Reason You Will Never Find Love?

The number 3 reason people cannot find love is because they don’t know how to determine who is compatible with them.  Having things in common is

not the same as having compatible core values.  

Most people are only concerned about the list of qualities they expect from others.  In many cases, they have no idea what the other person expects in return.  Also, the very things they desire are not the things they offer.  Do you really have the right to demand something you cannot offer.  For example, you want someone who is highly intelligent and well traveled and you are not either.  By travel, I am not talking about taking vacations on the beach.  Travelers immerse themselves into the culture of foreign countries.     

What’s more important is to do an honest self inventory. Strictly look at yourself.  When you fully understand self, it would be wise to find someone who matches the list you see in self.  The more you know yourself the easier it becomes to know who is realistically compatible with you.  

However, if there is a huge gap between what you offer and what you expect from another, use that knowledge to develop yourself into the list you expect from the other.  Otherwise, you have no right to demand what you cannot offer. 

For the record, compatibility has more to do with family values.  How do you manage money?  How do you handle conflict?  How do you manage your physical and mental health?  Do you care about physical and mental well being?  What is your attitude towards sex?  How do you want to educate and discipline your children?  These values and more generally remain constant over the years or through good and bad times. 

Some of you may doubt me.  You may believe you only need to like the same things.  That’s not enough.  In the book, The Millionaire Mind, by Thomas Stanley, he did an enormous amount of research into affluent couples.  He found it was not money that kept them together.  It was compatible values.  

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