Are You Trying to Create Love or a Fantasy?

I already talked about how people look for magic.  Today I want to address how relationships were and how the media changed what use to work.  

This idea of romance is new in human history.  It’s about 170 years old.  Before that, marriages were arranged or semi arranged.  The union of the 2 had a

purpose larger than the couple.  They were to build something together and leave that legacy for their children who would do the same.  This is how you get generations of wealth - old money. 

What’s important to note is their families brought them together because they shared common core values.  Core values is what makes people compatible, not liking the same color or movie.  When you are compatible, it’s easier to have an affinity for one another.  Love grows out of that.   

Then something happened to that paradigm.  In 1819, a guy by the name John Keats wrote a book called, La Belle Dame sans Merci.  In English, it means: “The Beautiful Lady Without Pity,”.  When it was written, no one paid attention to it.   In the 1850s, it became a hit and shaped the culture for relationships.   

At that time, books and newspapers were the media.  Now the movies can give you all kinds of visuals and music to tap into your emotions.  Instead of people coming together to build something, they come together to get the feelings of fun, excitement and emotions they experience while watching a movie.  That is not a relationship.  

In other words, media distracted people from knowing what makes relationships work.  What works is to find someone who is compatible with you.  Now women want dates that are exciting.  All that fun and excitement distracts you from getting to know the person.  When you get married, you learn you don’t even like the person.  Of course you don’t.  The 2 of you are not compatible.  Stop trying to make Hollywood movies with another person.  Get to know them.   

Check out my new book, Here’s Why You Can’t Find Love.  You will learn things you didn’t know about yourself.  You will discover how you sabotage your relationships.  Then I provide tools to create a great relationship, not a good one.  A great one.  

You will find a link below or on FB, IG, YOuTube and Linked In. 

 I’ll be back with number 12.  Some of you are not going to like number 12.  

To purchase a copy of his book: https://brileybaxterbooks.com/author-ted-santos/