Tuesday, March 5, 2013

How Did You Get Where You Are?

If we look at our lives, we each live in a world of our own. Our world consists of friends, family, work, recreation, etc. And that is where we are. The roadmap we used to arrive at our current destination can never be found in the places we frequent or with the people we know. It is figuratively found inside each of us.

We are the architects of the world in which we live. Our outer world is a reflection of
our inner world – our thoughts and beliefs. If we want to determine the constitution of our map or inner world, we need only listen to the conversations we have with ourselves. If we believe those conversations only occur inside ourselves, we should also listen to the conversations we have with others. And we find that what we say to ourselves is replicated directly or indirectly with others. 

Yet, there are some of us who try to disguise our inner world. Those people frequently put themselves in situations that stretch them beyond their comfort zone. To the outside, it appears they engage themselves in a very empowering way. However, if you look closely and their efforts seem to always fall very short, they may be secretly having negative conversations with themselves. If that is the case, their outer world reflects why they always fall short. Yet, to the outside world, they will look like a risk taker with inordinate amounts of courage. Their many failed risks may be in a reflection of the self-doubt that is never verbally expressed to others.

While the person who meets this profile should be commended for persistency, they should also take action to uncover self-sabotaging conversations they have with themselves. It may seem logical to avoid those conversations. At the same time, those thoughts make up their inner world. And it is the inner world that drives action.

Once we uncover the inimical dialogue, we have the possibility of choice. Before that, we are stuck with a conversation that knows about us and we don’t know about it because we don’t consciously hear it. When that happens, it owns us. When we reveal it, we have a chance to own it and replace it.

These self-defeating conversations happen for all of us at some point. Many of us have extraordinary personal relationships. Yet, our career is a constant struggle. For others, it is the reverse. The area to which we have committed the most time and effort usually shows up as a fantastic outer world.

If your inner map is not getting you to the outer world you desire, you will need to carve out time to think clearly about where you are, how you got there and where you want to go. It’s an exercise that is well worth the investment. During that process, some of us find that there always was a voice inside of us attempting to guide us. However, it faded because the noise around us from other people became our new voice. We began to believe they were right when they told us that our dreams were impossible. If, on the other hand, you are diligent and recreate the inner map according to what you truly desire, you may find that inner voice reignite and transform into a GPS that will guide you in the face of good and bad weather or day and night.

What do you think? I’m open to ideas. Or if you want to write me about a specific topic, let me know.

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