When you watch Hollywood movies, the message is love will save the day. The same message is communicated in music. Yet, the divorce courts are filled with couples that relied on love to make their holy matrimony work. For some reason, love did not save them. In case no one has noticed, love hasnot resolved any conflicts around the world. What's the definition of insanity?
In addition, people believe love will create peace in the world. The mantra is all about how people need to love one another. This message has been chanted for so long that people have a difficult time understanding it is a lie.
As I have already stated in an article and video, what people call love is simply biochemcal secretions that make humans want to have sex with one another. It’s nature’s way of ensuring people perpetuate the species. Other mammals experience the same. Therefore, it is nothing special.
At the same time, there is something that could help the world in a significant way. First, people would have to understand that love does not create great relationships. Love is a byproduct of a great relationship. In other words, if people focused on developing the skills to have a great relationship, the world’s problems would disappear.
If people started with conflict resolution, they would learn a secret. The secret to conflict resolution is the following. When people encounter conflict, it almost never has anything to do with the other person or situation. It has to do with the conflict you are confronting within yourself. If you have not resolved your internal conflicts, you will take it out on others, by debating, arguing, physically fighting or worse.
For example, when I say most people do not experience love, some may disagree. My statement conflicts with what you were told throughout your entire life. Many people would attempt to debate with me without having supporting facts. They only have a mantra that has been repeated ad nauseam. They believed the mantra without ever questioning it.
In my book, Here’s Why You Can’t Find Love, I speak in detail about what people call chemistry. It is literally chemistry. It is biochemistry. It is the result of people secreting hormones like dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins. They make you feel good when you see or hear specific stimuli.
While you are having these feelings, you are unaware of the stimuli that causes the secretions. It could be facial structure, voice, hair, clothing, etc. None of those things make relationships work. They remind you of something for which you have an affinity. That could be from family, movies, past lover, teacher, etc. It’s from the past and provides a sense of comfort. The person for whom you are having these feelings could be very dysfunctional and displaying a myriad of red flags. However, the feelings have blinded you and you ignore the red flags.
If instead, every person on the planet committed to learning how to create great relationships and resolve conflict, problems would dissolve over night. As it stands, people argue, fight and kill over conflict. Since they do not know how to address their own internal conflict, they take it out on the person in front of them. In most cases, it is not the person in front of them creating the conflict. The person reminds them of someone from the past. They have been reminded of a past occurrence they never wanted to experience again. Now they are reliving that day and they are triggered. Love will not solve that. The ability to resolve one’s own conflict will handle it. In fact, when you master self, it becomes difficult to be triggered. When you develop self mastery, you are responsible for your internal conflict and resolve it immediately.
As you see, the bigger problem is people are taught to live in the past. The past makes you feel good and comfortable. In those situations, you want more. The more you get the more you believe it is love. Or it makes you feel bad and uncomfortable. When you get more of the bad stuff, it puts you in anger or protective mode. Unfortunately, most relationships of any kind are filled with a combination of the two. One person can remind you of good and bad things from your past. This is one reason someone may say I love and hate you at the same time. It is not you. It is what you remind them of.
If every person on the planet could resolve internal conflict, they would focus on making things work with others, instead of being constantly stimulated into an internal conflict. Cooperation would be easier. That would be a more effective path to world peace. Out of that would come an affinity for your fellow man. From there, love would have a chance to grow. As you see, love would be tertiary. It is not primary.
Some of you may ask: how do I resolve my internal conflicts. Well, that’s a workshop where you acquire tools to unlearn entire belief systems. As you unlearn them, you will discover they were never your belief systems. They were imposed on you. Freedom is discharging those old beliefs like unloading baggage that belongs to someone else.
What do you think? I would love to hear your feedback. And I’m open to ideas. Or is you want to write me about a specific topic, comment through my blog: https://turnaroundip.blogspot.com/