What’s the #29 Reason You Can’t Find Love?

 

I have already spoken about how seeking something outside of the relationship is a poor strategy.  The number 29 reason you can’t find love depends 100% on something outside of the couple.  When you take a step back and look, it may border abuse. 

The number 29 reason you can’t find love is you believe

pregnancy will keep your significant other.  Or you believe it will create love between the two of you.  

I already outlined how lacking relationship skills is a formula for failure.  Depending on a child to make your relationship work is kind of childish.  For sure it is an example of not being responsible for creating the relationship you claim to desire.  

A relationship is between 2 people.  When the 2 of you bring children into the world, it is in your best interest to bring them into a loving environment.  When you put the responsibility on the child to create a loving environment, you are asking a child to do something they have no clue how to do.  Perhaps that is why this strategy fails in so many cases. 

The number 29 reason is an example of how people attempt to use substitutes to make the relationship work.  For others, they believe gifts make it work.  Still more believe it takes exotic vacations.  The list goes on for substitutions.  What is being ignored is one or both people have no idea how to make the relationship work.  Unfortunately, substitutions simply buy time for the inevitable.  Failure!  Breakup!  Divorce!  

Having a child with the hope they will save your intimate relationship is irresponsible.  It allows one or both to sit on their butts and expect someone else to make things work.  While men are known to engage in this behavior, it is mostly women who believe their pregnancy will make the man care for her enough to stay.  In many cases, it does the opposite.  The man feels trapped and becomes resentful.  Instead of bringing a child into a loving environment, they are born into a resentful one.  Should that be deemed abuse?  Why would you intentionally bring someone into a hostile environment?  

Instead of seeking outside things or people to save your relationship, understand yourself so you will realistically know who is compatible with you.  Before you do that, don’t have children.    

That was #29 and I’lll be back with more.