Sunday, November 3, 2019

How Do Fixed or Growth Mindsets Affect Your Love Life?

People with fixed minds are smart.  They have learned much and rely greatly on their abilities and what they already know.  That mindset allows them to navigate the world while using the knowledge they have already acquired.  The growth mind also learns much.  Except, they are more open to venturing into unknown territory.  That unknown territory can have
pitfalls and failures.  Nevertheless, that is where they learn new and intriguing knowledge.  The fixed mindset, on the other hand, stays away from pitfalls and failures.

In relationships, this matters greatly.  The fixed mind will pride themselves on being knowledgeable.  The problem comes when new information is introduced to them.  In relationships, this can start arguments.  The fixed mind is personified by someone who is set in their ways.  This is not predicated on age.  They have found the fixed mindset in elementary school students. 

Two fixed minded people could get along well if they are fixed on the same things.  In the same way, two growth minded people can get along.  They are likely to constantly explore new adventures together. 

However, when the growth and fixed mindsets are in a relationship, the fixed mind will often be in a battle to be right.  Since they rarely see value in failure, they do everything in their power to avoid it.  Some will fight to the death to avoid being wrong.  For the fixed mindset person, looking good is more rewarding than failure or unknown adventures.   This disproportionate relationship with failure can create constant conflict between the growth and fixed mindsets. 

For their relationship to survive, they would both have to learn more effective ways to communicate and negotiate.  If done well, they could complement one another.  They could have the perfect balance of security and adventure. 

However, as men, we tend to protect women from looking bad.  We are taught to give them compliments and constantly assure them they are smart.  Those communication methods are often responsible for creating fixed mindsets.  Can this be undone?   

Tonight, Sunday, November 3, from 7:00pm-8:30pm (EST) at Straight Talk with Ted Santos.

Call to comment or ask questions live at: (323) 642-1387.

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