Monday, August 6, 2012

Is It Possible To Shed Your Deepest Fears?

Look carefully into the future, and you will clearly see what’s there: Nothing! Even if you look at tomorrow, the future is empty waiting to be filled. Oftentimes though, you and I immerse the future with our past. Tomorrow therefore, appears no different than yesterday. Hence, the sayings like: same thing different day. 

If you cleaned up your past to give you the freedom to enter tomorrow with nothing, what would you be able to
create? Anything!

Before I start, I would like to provide an exercise as an analogy.

If you have a headache, sit and relax. Find the location of the center of your headache. Breathe and focus on that point. Soon enough, the headache’s center will move. Focus on the new location of the center. It will move again. Keep focusing on the center regardless of where it moves. Eventually what you will notice is that the headache disappears. The headache disappeared because you confronted it.

Like the headache, you will have to confront the past and clean it up. When you avoid it, it persists. While there are pills to make headaches go away, there are no pills to make thoughts go away. Therefore, it is imperative that you look at your life and analyze past situations where you never completed an endeavor or relationship.

For example, if you left a relationship without honestly discussing your contribution to the relationship’s culmination, you will carry the incomplete memories into your future – both personal and professional. If you don’t, you may find that you judge yourself and your limitations based on the past that you ignore.

In time, those limits seem to become part of your character. They exist because you have previous evidence. However, if you confront your fears, you can watch them disappear.

Additionally, there may be a task you are avoiding. Though it is evident you are procrastinating, more likely you’re avoiding what you believe that task will make you feel because you had a similar experience possibly with negative consequences. Either way you drag the past into the future.

I once asked my assistant to call the secretary of a former CEO of a large corporation. When she called, the CEO answered instead of his secretary. My assistant hung up immediately. Why? She anticipated that the CEO would say something to make her feel unworthy. I asked my assistant to make the call again. This time I coached her on how to conduct herself with the CEO.

She made the call. The CEO answered and she found him to be a very pleasant person. Now that assistant can speak to anyone. Her fear of people with prestigious titles disappeared. If she did not confront her fears, she would have carried them forever.
Sometimes it’s not the past experience. It is the supplanted idea from others that were part of our past. I have stated in many other articles that you don’t have anything to do with what you think or say. Confrontation however, opens up the opportunity to have a choice in what you say and think.

Take it on and let me know how it goes.
What do you think? I’m open to ideas. Or if you want to write me about a specific topic, let me know. 

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