Tuesday, January 17, 2012

What's Love Got To Do With It?

We are taught to believe that a relationship is made up of 2 personalities coming together. We even think certain personalities are more compatible than others. I say that is a myth and I would like to dispel that myth and offer a new perspective on relationships.

When you and I wake up in the morning, our mind is listening to something that I will call a
radio station. Almost everyone has a conversation going on in their head when they wake up. Some say it’s too early. Others say it’s Monday. There are many other conversations people wake up into. In fact, most of our attitudes and outlooks depend on those and are shaped by them. Except, where do those conversations come from? You and I did not invent them. By a certain age, each of us was given a radio station in our mind that we cannot turn off.

Depending on our social economic class, gender, race, age, country…, we were born into a radio station that has certain dominant conversations. We think we are making those conversations. However, we had nothing to do with them. We were born into them. And worst of all we do not even hear the radio station. We think it is us making up the conversation. Perhaps the reality is that the radio station conversations own us. 

Therefore, when 2 people meet, they believe they are connecting. Because they have been given the same or similar conversations to live into as reality, they believe they have chemistry. Conversely, those who are listening to a very different radio station may feel the other person does not understand them. It would be what people call a lack of chemistry.

Imagine 2 people coming together for love and their minds are listening to 2 very different radio stations that they cannot turn off. What they will be left with is my conversation in my head has the right solutions to life and your conversation is wrong.

There would be no possibility of creating power between the 2 of them. Real power requires people invent from nothing. If 2 people wanted to build an extraordinary relationship, they would have to invent it from nothing.

They would have to distinguish the station they were born into and choose between the conversations that have made them who they are and the person they would like to be. That may require letting go of the past. Except, letting go of the past is extremely difficult for most people. How many people say this is who I am and there is nothing I can do about it? Or I am nothing without my ____. For most, letting go of the identity you were given is like dying. With no identity, people feel like they are nothing.

Yet, people are willing to give up happiness, success and love to hold on to a radio station that plays in their mind even though they had nothing to do with it and the radio station informs to make poor decisions. Distinguish your station. Listen to the language you have in your mind – the type of words you use when problems show up. If you cannot hear your language, listen to the language of the people who are closest to you. They may be listening to the station that is on the same frequency as yours. If you want to be free, let it go!

As always, I welcome any comments or questions you may have. 


  1. Very unique perceptive. I hope many benefit from your insight.

    1. Thank you, Jemnina. I appreciate your feedback.